Life lessons..
Feb. 22nd, 2007 09:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nuttyglenSo.. I've been doing a lot of thinking. No.. No.. not in a bad way. Well, not entirely. But it's mainly inspired by the woman behind the video and this site: http://www.gettingthetruthout.org .
It's challenged so much of thinking about Autism. It's frightened the hell out of me. It's brought me to tears, but it's empowered me. I hope it has anyway. And I hope that in the long run, it'll make me a better parent to my son.
One of my greatest fears in learning of an Autism diagnosis was what would happen to him when he got older? How would he adjust to society? What would happen to him as an adult? Who would care for him if he could not properly care for himself? What kind of life would he have?
When you have a child, it's hard not to wonder about the future. What it has in store for your children. But usually the worst of your fears is wondering how the hell you'll pay for college and how expensive a wedding in 20 years will be.
But those thoughts are very trivial when compared to wondering just how your child will function in a world not built for those who are... different.
So much of what we, as a society, consider inappropriate behavior.. is to an Autistic something entirely different. My son flaps his hands when he gets excited. I had never realized that this was a characteristic trait shared by many Autistics. We just referred to it as the chicken flap. He loves the sound of his own voice and will get very loud if he can hear his voice echoing. (The mall is a great example of this.) His own voice is both a comfort and a pain to him at times. He will hold his own ears when he cries... not realizing that it's the very sound of his own voice that is causing him discomfort.
I've had my mind so wrapped around words.
The lack of words.
We are trained to learn to express ourselves in a certain way. And it's much like being in a country that you don't speak the native language, but you are expected to learn if you are going to survive. Inappropriate thoughts and behaviors are highly frowned upon. Because it upsets the Utopian mirage that the world attempts to project.
But the reality is... we all speak different languages. We all have our ways of communication. No matter if it's verbal or not. Our own mindsets. We are individuals. Not automatons set in motion at birth with one singular goal in mind.
So why do we push so hard for this vision of unity, when all we do.. is creative more division?
I've always thought that my son knew far more than he could ever express. I've never doubted this. He just doesn't speak my language. And much as I wish I could... I don't know his.
But I'm trying to learn.
As I go forward from here. I go with the idea that I am trying to change my son into something he is not, but to help him in any way I can. To be the best that he can be.
I can't change the world and the way it views others. But I can start with myself. The change begins here. Right here. In my mind. In my heart. In my soul. Maybe someday, I can be a drop of rain in the water. Causing a little ripple that goes out and flows, growing stronger and wider with each passing moment.
Then my son and people like him, can finally be accepted and embraced for their differences. Then they can teach US about life, rather than us simply attempting to teach them to adapt and change.
It's challenged so much of thinking about Autism. It's frightened the hell out of me. It's brought me to tears, but it's empowered me. I hope it has anyway. And I hope that in the long run, it'll make me a better parent to my son.
One of my greatest fears in learning of an Autism diagnosis was what would happen to him when he got older? How would he adjust to society? What would happen to him as an adult? Who would care for him if he could not properly care for himself? What kind of life would he have?
When you have a child, it's hard not to wonder about the future. What it has in store for your children. But usually the worst of your fears is wondering how the hell you'll pay for college and how expensive a wedding in 20 years will be.
But those thoughts are very trivial when compared to wondering just how your child will function in a world not built for those who are... different.
So much of what we, as a society, consider inappropriate behavior.. is to an Autistic something entirely different. My son flaps his hands when he gets excited. I had never realized that this was a characteristic trait shared by many Autistics. We just referred to it as the chicken flap. He loves the sound of his own voice and will get very loud if he can hear his voice echoing. (The mall is a great example of this.) His own voice is both a comfort and a pain to him at times. He will hold his own ears when he cries... not realizing that it's the very sound of his own voice that is causing him discomfort.
I've had my mind so wrapped around words.
The lack of words.
We are trained to learn to express ourselves in a certain way. And it's much like being in a country that you don't speak the native language, but you are expected to learn if you are going to survive. Inappropriate thoughts and behaviors are highly frowned upon. Because it upsets the Utopian mirage that the world attempts to project.
But the reality is... we all speak different languages. We all have our ways of communication. No matter if it's verbal or not. Our own mindsets. We are individuals. Not automatons set in motion at birth with one singular goal in mind.
So why do we push so hard for this vision of unity, when all we do.. is creative more division?
I've always thought that my son knew far more than he could ever express. I've never doubted this. He just doesn't speak my language. And much as I wish I could... I don't know his.
But I'm trying to learn.
As I go forward from here. I go with the idea that I am trying to change my son into something he is not, but to help him in any way I can. To be the best that he can be.
I can't change the world and the way it views others. But I can start with myself. The change begins here. Right here. In my mind. In my heart. In my soul. Maybe someday, I can be a drop of rain in the water. Causing a little ripple that goes out and flows, growing stronger and wider with each passing moment.
Then my son and people like him, can finally be accepted and embraced for their differences. Then they can teach US about life, rather than us simply attempting to teach them to adapt and change.
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 06:26 am (UTC)"As I go forward from here. I go with the idea that I am trying to change my son into something he is not, but to help him in any way I can. To be the best that he can be." -- This is exactly where we're at. We're figuring it out slowly. He's not difficult to communicate with in general, but to communicate with him effectively and in a positive way is a challenge. His mind has a way of twisting words into something that's not being said...he's just wired differently. *shrugs*
So good luck to you and your family on your journey. :)
(btw, got here from bak2oz :) )